I Need Romance
by Ephemeralism
Summary: Ichigo and Renji are wedding crashers; or Bro Nights as they like to call it. Escaping their troubles in booze, ladies, and having an all around good time. Ichigo is still in a relationship with Rukia, but balancing partying and this has been a little sketchy. Especially when Rukia finds out.


_**Draft 1: Aug.8.2015**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Kubo owns Bleach**_

* * *

 **Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind.**

* * *

"You want me to do what?!" Renji spluttered.

"God, Renji it isn't that difficult." Ichigo shrugged, "I need a bro night so just cover for me if Rukia calls."

"Ichigo you know this isn't going to go well."

"Damn right it will if you do your part." Ichigo snapped as he straighten is blazer and put the finishing touches on his hair. This gel is not staying in the right parts. Fuck.

"Rukia is going to beat your ass and you know it." Renji says looking at Ichigo's book shelves. he can't believes this douchebag still collects Shakespeare plays and all that crap. Humans read way to much.

"Stop being a-", Ichigo stops short. Why didn't he think of this later?! Ichigo smiles for the first time this evening, "Aw, Renji! Why didn't I see it earlier! You're jealous!"

He lets out a whoop followed my teetering laughs.

"I am definitely not jealous of _that_." Renji says eyeing Ichigo up and down. Ichigo was nothing special. The brat had bright orangy hair that looked so tacky. Red was Renji's color and he knows it. This ryoka clothes are too tight too. The only thing Renji was jealous about Ichigo was Rukia. And he knows it, so no need to rub it in you damn bastard. Rukia was basically the only reason he was here. Renji should be back in the Soul Society with Kira and Hisagi with their drinking rounds.

Damn this ass.

"Oh, you definately want to come with me! That's why you keep stopping me! Man, it's okay. _I_ won't tell Rukia you are with me." Ichigo eyes him. The man code always get's Renji.

The staredown lasted a few seconds. Renji eventually gives in.

"Fine," Renji grits, "You are going to pay for this."

"Oh no, _you_ are going to looovvveee this," Ichigo says as he reaches into his closet to find Renji a suitable suite and tie for the event.

Renji sighed and faced-palmed himself. Renji knew very well that this was not going to go well; it was part of the man code after all.

* * *

Renji puts on whatever Ichigo threw and as always but stops short; the clothes were tacky as ever. Who wears striped pants anymore?! Ichigo snickers as Renji holds them up.

"You think I'm stupid enough to wear this?" Renji throws it to the back of Ichigo's head as he howls.

"You definitely upgraded your fashion sense since the last time you were here; you used to wear whatever I threw at you. I was like your mom dressing a five year old."

"Please refrain from using that analogy Kurosaki", Renji says as Ichigo shuffles through his closet, "That image just mentally scarred me."

"Whatever you say." Ichigo tosses him a sleek black trouser that looked half decent.

Renji smiled, "Those shopping trips with Rangiku are finally paying off."

"Oh really?" Ichigo raises his brows.

"These trousers were bought marked down. Probably from some cheap retailer." Renji comments.

"How did you know?" Ichigo says turning around and crossing his arms.

" 'Cuz you bought them." Renji retorts which sends Ichigo on another round of laughs.

Finally finding Renji a decent dress shirt, the looked in the mirror.

"You ready for tonight?"

Renji rolls his eyes, and gets in his higher pitched resister, "I mean I guess."

Both cracking up as the closed the door and headed out into the night.

Yep, this was going to be a hella of a night. This was another thing in the man code...well, the party crashes code actually.

* * *

Usually, Renji and Ichigo do weddings on the weekends and parties whenever Ichigo found a decent place. The parties were usually at a karaoke joint or someone's "house" cough cough mansion. Ichigo had college to go Monday through Thursday, but he made time for his booze. It's been only a few months since they started this show biz and Ichigo was totally in on this whole wedding crasher thing. Renji on the other hand wasn't so into it, but reluctantly followed his pal into this like a true MVP.

It all started after Renji was third-wheeling Ichigo and Rukia's relationship. Renji ended up at this club on the ridge of Karakura. Urahara recommended it to him and he ended up being a little too into it. He dragged Ichigo into the fiasco and the his relationship with Rukia started getting little white lies poached in. Ichigo started wheeling out of their dates. Renji started weaseling out of the Soul Society on Friday nights and coming back Monday morning, well, not sober.

Now, the lies come natural and the sneaking out became a lifestyle. It was like living the bachelor life in high style and they were both professions. Plus, this doesn't hurt anyone. Just a few white lies, a party of laughter and drinking. It was all good.

Ichigo and Renji kept it easy with the ladies. They didn't want to get _tooo_ intimate. Ichigo was a man of his word. He doesn't cheat. Renji hasn't gotten close to any of the human female specimens. He kept it low key flirting and strictly no rooms alone. God, that would be terrible.

They where _party crashers_ for crying out loud, not _thirsty_ for attention and desire.

After their night of wildness, they usually crashed at Urahara's. He would make them hungover soup and send them well on their way. This is not at all from the heart. In return, Ichigo and Renji have to run errands and clean up the Shoppe whenever Urahara needed anything, including taking Yoruichi on her daily walks too. It is usually decided over rock-paper-scissors. Ichigo usually loses.

It was a great plan. No one knew. It was all classified information. They were on their third month streak with no suspicion. It was all good.

* * *

"This is it?" The venue was alright. A little on the small side though.

"Yep." Ichigo says as he pulls in on the brakes.

"Damn, your driving skills suck, they keep getting worse. It would have been much faster if he flash-stepped here. Plus you don't have to drive back."

"Shut up, Renji," Ichigo clicks his seat belt open, "Relax. What is with you lately? You've been worrying a lot. Everything is going to be fine"

Renji didn't reply instantly, but reluctantly answered, "Let's just hope it stays this way."

They were silent for a moment and Renji broke it with a grin.

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

Ichigo cracked up and they both strut down the street howling like dog from the Rukongai.

The air felt free again.


End file.
